The first step to get out of an abusive relationship is to recognize that you are in such a relationship. Only then can you get the support you need. And if physical abuse leaves more or less visible traces on the victim’s body, we can’t say the same about emotional abuse.
Nevertheless, as I said in a previous article, the consequences of such a relationship can be devastating and may leave deep traces for a long time.
Let’s take a look at the signs that tells you that your partner is emotionally aggressive.
1. You are afraid to talk to him about small things because you do not know how he would react.
2. He makes you a negative opinion about yourself.
3. You approve him only to avoid a confrontation with him.
4. You think you are the one who has a problem?
5. He’s ironic about your accomplishments or struggles to show you he’s better that you, instead of being happy for you.
6. You feel helpless, as if you were caught in a trap.
7. He treats yourself as if you were his property, not a woman with real feelings.
8. He checks your phone, car, wants to know with whom you meet, where you go and what you do, sabotage your work, control your finances, even the way you dress yourself or arrange your hair; briefly, he controls your whole life.
9. If you answer back, he blames you for his abusive behavior.
10. To please him, you are willing to make any sacrifice.
11. You live in complete isolation because he does not want you next to your family and friends.
12. You consider that you deserve what’s happening to you.
13. You always find excuses for his behavior.
14. He threatens to leave you or to take you out on the street.
15. You are afraid of him.
16. He always criticizes you, finds you nicknames or screams at you.
17. Humiliate you either in public or in privacy.
18. He ridicules or insults women in general.
19. Ignore your feelings; do not listen when you want to talk to him.
20. When you don’t do what he wants, he locks himself in the room and refuses to talk to you again.
21. You hope you can help him change.
22. Refuse to work or share money with you.
23. He takes all the decisions by himself.
24. He says you’re crazy.
25. Sneaks, secretly, money from you.
26. Manipulate you by lies and contradictory statements.
27. He threatens you and your family.
28. You’re reserved when sharing your views.
29. You feel like you have to walk on shell eggs around him.
30. He threatens to hurt himself or suicide if you leave him.
31. Finds excuses for the way he behaves with you.
32. Seems to make sure you do not get what you want.
33. He tells you that you are too sensitive.
34. Adopts the role of fighter even if he knows the fight is getting tired.
35. You feel emotionally uncertain.
36. It is a pleasant presence for others, but a nightmare for you.
37. He misinterprets your words, turning everything against you.
38. He complains about the way you behave with him.
39. He tells you things that make you feel good, but do what makes you feel bad.
40. It happens that you doubt yourself by your memory or the perception of reality.
41. You do not trust your judgment.
42. He puts you down even when you feel better.
43. He behaves immaturely and selfishly, but attributes you these characteristics.
44. Interrupts you when you talk. He hears what you are saying, but don’t listen.
45. You feel depressed.
46. Try to convince you he’s right, while you’re wrong.
47. He says things that he denies later or accuses you of having misunderstood.
48. It treats you as a sexual object.
49. You must always control your words or behavior for not to annoying him.
50. You are afraid to contradict him.
51. You often give up what you like to please him.
52. You are scared because of his threats and violent behavior.
53. You feel that you are the one who is mistaken, that you are stupid, mad, inappropriate and worthless.
54. You feel ashamed, embarrassed or humiliated.
55. You feel that nothing is good enough for him.
56. He physically assaulted you at least once.
It is not mandatory to have all these signs to know that you are in an abusive relationship. But if you recognize at least 30% of the statements above, it’s time to take an attitude. Your emotional well-being is at stake and, like any human being; you have the right to decide for your life, express your own opinions and be loved.
How to do these things I will tell you in another article.
You might also be interested in 9 ways to regain your self-esteem.