We were born in sin. That’s what the Orthodox church has been claiming for generations. If I were to take seriously the enlightened church heads, no rain could ever wash away the misery with which they would cover me, feeling unworthy of love and respect. Hell, I would have the impression that I don’t even deserve to breathe. Where is love for God when they don’t even teach us to love ourselves?
Nowadays, the church is just one of the state institutions that abuse women they are leading. According to them, woman is vicious and the temptation that made Adam to sin. If Adam was a little intelligent, maybe he wouldn’t have been such an easy target.
Through the power of manipulation that it continues to exercise, rejecting those religions and spiritual practices that would help us illuminate and thus escape from the religious prison, we are dealing with a dangerous institution. It’s an institution that has planted inside of us the instinct of the flock and later, the guilt. We accept ideas that do not belong to us, as the product of our own mind and guide our lives according to them, building up a false reality.
Women’s persecution in underdeveloped countries
Things are even more damning in Third World countries. In the name of tradition, in some West African countries, women are simply mutilated. Just a few weeks after they are born, they are sewn to their vagina while their labia and clitoris are cut off. The barbaric procedure, apparently with humanitarian purposes – the girls will be pure and modest – often ends tragically, the worst case with death. According to locals, this way women will keep their virginity until marriage and will no longer be possessed of sexual desire.
Neither in the Islamic world where woman – the slave of a patriarchal society – is persecuted in the name of Coran, things are no better. The supremacy of the man is obvious in the manifestations that he has the right to exercise over the woman. Thus, the woman becomes obedient to the husband by the constraints of the legislation, otherwise he is entitled to severely punish her. Obviously, we are tempted to wonder how it is possible to demonstrate the woman’s disobedience to the man. And if the woman who deceives is being punished, the man lays into his harem, thinking of the illusory promise of a heaven full of virgins.
What about the exclusion of women in the public domain, including religious life? At the base of these measures there are arguments such as menstruation and women’s ability to bring children into the world. It goes without saying that we are confronted with arguments that are easily dismantled. From a spiritual perspective, what can be more beautiful and noble than the gift of birth? Clearly, there is a rather subversive connection between religion and spirituality. Secondly, menstruation is a natural physiological process or a mistake of God? After all, isn’t His creation perfect? Similarly, Christian religion forbids the woman’s entry into the altar at that time of the month.
Church „serving” the woman
Church dogma seems to be designed to denigrate especially the woman who is taught to obey the man. Brain washed and devoid of support, a large number of women still assume with resignation the role of victims in front of the man and refuse to go looking for a better life, fearing not to committing a sin in the face of God and His „servants”. They feel, however, quite guilty about the man’s behavior and countless „sins” they have committed without realizing that their only sin is the decision to deny their right to happiness.
If we thought that after the end of the Sunday service they have no other way than to return home to a partner who doesn’t support and understand them, always puts them obstacles in the way, offend them in the most humiliating way abusing them both physically, emotionally and verbally, a place where they feel alone and sad, we will have had an almost complete picture of what it is called a life of abuses.
The idea that many people seem to be natural to what happens to them is even worse. This very false impression of reality could explain the anomalies in Romania. We have the lowest divorce rate, as we have the highest domestic abuse rate in Europe. In our country, a woman is offended or hit by a partner once every 30 seconds, and yet over 80% of Romanians are happy with their family life.
Woman, a real victim at work
In a country that claims to be democratic, we haven’t free ourselves yet from the fear of talking. In state institutions, you are not allowed to say ugly words against the party. Otherwise, the risk of being fired is very high. You just find one day with the dismissal notice on the desk.
In the private sector, you are exploited like a slave on plantation and tricked with the promise of hierarchical climb, unless, in the meantime, you get sick of too much work. A more fortunate case is the model employee who works his ass off without even having the perspective of promotion. That’s because he’s the only one in the office with the necessary experience and knowledge, all the others – friends and family’s boss wasting time for a whole day getting a payment considerably higher than his.
Let’s not forget the sexual harassment which, despite woman’s emancipation, has remained a common practice even in the biggest institutions in the country. Some of the women, not having any other solution, have to accept such treatment. Others more naive, thinking about the attractive salary, pretend to ignore the boss’s advances. Most of them, fearing not to lose their job, choose silence and consent to the perpetuation of a phenomenon called mobbing.
An alarm signal
The fact that, in our country, emotional abuse at work is tolerated demonstrate the authorities indifference and refusal to seek quick and legal solutions. In the case of a trial, video or audio recordings are not admitted as evidence if you do not have the prior approval of a judge beforehand. In addition, you do not know your chances, especially since in Romania, the chances of winning a harassment workplace (mobbing) process are still quite low.
What’s more, you think you might not find another job once you had the courage to break the silence. And rightly so. These thugs with a diploma bosses often became bosses by chance will always be afraid of a strong woman as long as they intend to use their money and function as abuse tools. Unfortunately, in most cases, the victim is the woman.
A solution could come from women’s protection associations or, why not, anti-mobbing. These, however, are either completely non-existent or provide support only to victims of physical violence. In a society in which care for the people’s physical and emotional integrity is completely lacking, it is obvious that emotional abuse is not considered as a real danger, since the budget of these associations is quite limited.
A tough reality
Currently, in Romania there are no clear laws against threats of dismissal and insults at work, while harassment is often viewed only in terms of advances and obscene gestures.
In addition to gaps in legislation, we are deprived of education about protecting and maintaining women’s emotional health. How can we understand what happens to us when many women still do not know the meaning of emotional abuse? Either they have not heard about mobbing or doesn’t know its meaning?
The conclusion can only be one: we are still living in a patriarchal society where the woman’s silence can be bought or taken by force. From the edge or unwillingly involved as simple pawns in a power play, we consent to the mockery of those who lead us at the micro or macro-social level when looking, sometimes with indifference, sometimes with rebellion, at the endless series of abuses in all social structures. We know it is our turn to be silent; alone, we can’t do anything. Perhaps, as soon as possible, we will be able to do something together.